Blue Eyes and Bowties

Past Present and Future Pt. 1

Its 5:14am on a Monday morning and I’ve been up since 3:20 so you know my brain has been running circles. As soon as my head hits the pillow its like it just kicks into gear. It doesn’t help that last night had a terrible dream. Im not usually one to recall what i dream of but it seems as if the bad ones have a way of sticking around. As for today I’m battling with notion of our pasts. Im very content in knowing what my past is and how it has made me better and if anyone were to ask id gladly sit down and tell them all the bullshit I’ve done and why I’m a better person for it today. Lately I’ve come to realize thats not how everyone is and quite frankly that scares me. People say that what they’ve been through has made them better or stronger but how are we to believe that if they themselves can’t come to terms with it. Im a very trusting person and I’m known for putting myself out there when asked about anything but that curse also burdens me with being anxiously curious the moment someone says “I’d rather not talk about it.” I immediately assume the worst and write up these amazing stories in my head not because I want to but because thats how my brain ticks. I believe that in being in our pasts and not something that can be changed people should be more able to lay it out there honestly. Or perhaps in being so open myself I’ve simply created this imbalance in my head where i feel I’ve given power to those that keep there pasts locked away. I think its time i turn on the tv and watch some mind-numbing comedies. ‘til next time tumblr.